Recently I got back from Cambodia.  I am a supporter of BloomAsia and proceeds from each letter I write go to support this charity which equips women rescued from trafficking with skills and education to provide a dignified income stream and relief from poverty.  “How was Cambodia?” many of you have asked me.  Here is my considered and complex response…

There’s something so soothing to icing a cake – the colours, the cool room, the delicate sugar art.
It’s the perfect antidote to pain, as it turns out.

For me, Cambodia was a cacophony of feelings – wonder, heartbreak, pride, joy.  In understanding pain, my friend Li-Anne (also a psychotheraptist) says “how?” is a much more
useful question than “why?” Because it errs on the side of compassion rather than anger or judgement.

To that end, I thought it would be useful to briefly recount Cambodia’s history for context, and then tell you about Bloom’s role now and what we are creating in the future. 

Cambodia is the home of Angkor Wat, the world’s largest single religious monument. It’s many temples of the early 1100s span over 400 acres of gardens, making it a wonder of astrology,
engineering and faith.

It’s also the home of romantic dance. At a young age, small fingers are stretched daily for a year in condensed milk cans to ensure they can hyperextend to tell stories with elegance and beauty.
Food, family, dance and faith were cornerstones of this civilisation.

But over a three year period from 1975 -1978 nearly 3 million people were killed as part of the genocidal campaign of the Khmer Rouge. City inhabitants were pushed to the country to equalise
the nation.

Families that previously ate and worked together were separated into diverse pods. Mothers had to sleep separately from their babies and children. Fathers had to work separately from their sons. Those old enough, were told who to marry. Those with a language, degree or pedigree were brutally killed. Babies were slammed against trees as they were not worth wasting a bullet on.  The Killing Fields were the infamous mass graves of the millions of intellectuals, scholars, monks and merchants killed as part of this maniacal campaign. 

Unlike Hitler’s attempt to preserve a super Aryan race, this campaign was to exterminate it, in the name of equality at it’s most base level. Illiteracy was apparent at S21, the most infamous Phnom Penh school turned gruesome torture centre, where numbers on the cells were scratched with lines because the guards often could not count nor spell.

I tell you this to remind you that this trauma and extermination happened less than 50 years ago.  If you are a 20 year old Cambodian, then in all probability your grandparents were an arranged
marriage, widowed, tortured or starved nearly to death during those brutal 3 years. And your parents will have known a time of little to no food, family, faith nor hope. Generational trauma is seen in the blank face of the madam pimping out the children under her watch, sitting on plastic chairs in the red light district, cajoling the men to come and drink with them. 

There are a number of NGOs that rescue trafficked children. But breaking the cycle of sex trafficking needs more than removal – the void must be replaced by an alternative income stream. Especially given the torturous history of the past, it’s not in the Cambodian nature to resist, argue or say no. By providing meaningful work, we are able to give the girls not only their dignity back, but also the ability to comply to family pressure to honour their parents – “Mum – I WILL do this work, but not that, “ they can say. 

And that’s where we come in.

This subtlety was only something I could appreciate once I had visited the girls and heard some of their stories – particularly that of Nary whose film will be released early next year. Nary is a survivor. Sold by her family at the age of 6. She is also one of the most compassionate, gentle, fun spirited people I have met. She was Bloom’s best sugar art creator and the team were secretly sad to see their protege go. But she is now married with kids of her own, running a business selling popcorn snacks that she imports and packages. She learned these skills at Bloom.

And beyond her own family, she is changing the lives of many others. When answering our questions she happens to mention the disabled child in her village who was beaten and barely tolerated. She gave him a job packaging for her and now his parents don’t hit him. Or the little girl, who had no-one looking out for her, and Nary has hired her to help in the store where she can keep a watchful eye over her.

“How did you forgive your family?” one of the team asked gently.
“They did not know how to love,” she replied.

And therein lies the secret to breaking the cycle.

At Bloom the girls receive so much more than vocational training. The day begins with an hour of quiet spiritual time followed by an hour of games. It was worth it to see massively tall Dave ride a beach towel in a towel race. Or for me to be blind folded and feel the whoosh as a pool toy aimed at me and missed. For teens who never got to be kids, they’re making up for lost time. Meals are swapped and shared and eaten together. Secrets, stories and recipes are exchanged. The apprentices are more reserved as they are still working out the ways of this place, but in the open smiles of the young women just a year or two ahead of them, they are learning to
trust and love – often for the very first time.

In a recent survey of alumni, we found that post Bloom, 61.5% of the girls went on to marry. (The Chab Dai Institute says this is one of the strongest indicators of long term wellness post rescue).
69% say they are thriving (that is – that they have a low trauma response). The girls reported that Bloom “gave them a second chance,” and a safe stepping stone into new work with legitimate skills and references.

“My time at Bloom has helped me to apply for different jobs. It was really hard to get a job when I
couldn’t tell employers where I was currently working. Bloom changed that.”
“Now that I’m a manager in my new job, I try to treat my team the way I was treated at Bloom”.
“I know that I have to accept some realities of my situation, but I can be strong and I can change
how I think about them” – they say. 

Mindful of the generational impact we are having, we are opening an early learning centre next year. Many trafficked girls have children of their own, and their reluctance to leave their children
means that currently we are only reaching a fraction of those that need us. As educator and author Peter Drucker once said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it,”
and that’s what we are doing here, one life at a time. 

 

In closing, we were asked to pick a picture that summaries our time at Bloom. Lotus flowers are abundant in Cambodia. They germinate in the mud, grow leaves that float on the water’s surface
until buds pierce the water in search of sunlight.

It’s the perfect metaphor for the girls whose lives are touched by the work we do at BloomAsia.  Watching their tentative smiles as they learn to trust again, is priceless.

PS. We need your help. Bloom Asia can not continue to expand without the support of generous benefactors who care about those that many have forgotten.  If you’re able to support this cause, all donations are completely tax deductible, but importantly – your contribution either as a once off – or a regular small amount, will ensure these girls continue to get the time, care, nurturing and attention that can remedy their pain and break the cycle.